Want a little support with that breast milk?
According to the latest New York Times article (Breast Feed or Else, by Roni Rabin, June 13, 2006), it seems that the tide has finally turned. The medical establishment has fully and officially endorsed breast-feeding. The same medical establishment, by the way, that for years has allowed baby formula companies to pitch their products to mothers who have just delivered and provide them with baby welcome bags full of free samples.
This happened to me as recently as January of 2005, even though it was already a prohibited practice where I lived. After an emergency c-section the day before and countless fights over outdated hospital protocols, I was awakened at 7 am by a chirpy representative who passed herself off as hospital staff and started asking me questions, including my contact information and income. She left quickly when I told her I was going to report her company, but it was clear she did this daily with every new mother in that hospital. So much for following all the rules.
But now that science supports what breast-feeding advocates have been saying all along, it seems women have been given a new ultimatum: breast-feed or else.
Don’t get me wrong, I fully support breast-feeding, and continue to breast-feed my 17 month old. In that sense, I am part of the success stories. However, I’m also in that group of mothers who has to supplement with formula for a very simple reason: at age 18 I had breast reduction surgery. The fact that I’ve partially breastfed is another success story of a different kind. (For more information on that, see this link.)
I don’t regret my surgery, even if it meant a lot of hard work to establish breast-feeding with my child. I had excellent coaches and a great support team, yet it was still emotionally draining to keep trying without being able to forego supplementation. I was afraid that my son would come to prefer the bottle and wean himself, and frantically tried every available means to increase my supply. At a certain point, this frenzy took its toll on breast-feeding itself, and that’s when I realized that it wasn’t just about milk, but also about our relationship. It wasn’t healthy to feel inadequate every time I fed my child, and I decided to just relax and enjoy it for as long as it lasted, without pressuring either of us. And that’s when our breast-feeding relationship truly developed, and it became about us and not just the milk.
This is important, because the benefits of breast milk are only part of a complex equation that also involves the emotions of both mother and child. If a mother is unhappy with breastfeeding, for whatever reason, she should be able to do otherwise without becoming the target of criticism of either the medical establishment or society. Yet there is another part to the breastfeeding equation that has yet to be adequately addressed, and that is the lack of a social structure to foster and sustain it, both in the workplace and at large.
In fact, we should think about why women become disenchanted with breastfeeding. For example, how do you deal with the still prevalent discomfort of others with nursing in public? (It’s not a coincidence that breast-feeding and pumping are relegated to public bathrooms, since they are deemed unseemly bodily functions. Would it feel nice to eat your lunch in a public bathroom?) How do you educate a public that was brought up on the ‘practicality’ of formula, or that feels free to remark with disapproval that your child is too old to nurse?
More importantly, how do you maintain a breastfeeding relationship when you have to go to work? The article clearly summarizes the difficulties of breastfeeding and work:
“Moreover, urging women to breast-feed exclusively is a tall order in a country where more than 60 percent of mothers of very young children work, federal law requires large companies to provide only 12 weeks' unpaid maternity leave and lactation leave is unheard of. Only a third of large companies provide a private, secure area where women can express breast milk during the workday, and only 7 percent offer on-site or near-site child care, according to a 2005 national study of employers by the nonprofit Families and Work Institute.”
If we really care about promoting breastfeeding, then we need to address the obstacles faced by women in order to successfully do so. It would be infinitely wiser to allocate funds for better maternity leaves on a nationwide scale, access to healthcare and childcare, and flexible work options for women, rather than spend it on campaigns that play to women’s guilt and fear. The use of sensationalist TV ads, portraying heavily pregnant women in a log rolling competition or riding a mechanical bull, trivializes the unique and complex circumstances of each woman and endorses a judgmental public attitude towards non-breastfeeding women. In fact, it’s disturbing that this new government initiative to promote breastfeeding, known as Healthy People 2010 is part of the same initiative that brought about the CDC’s report on preconception health. (See my previous entry on that report.) While I am not against the goals of better health for women or of the promotion of breastfeeding, I balk at the way it is overriding women’s personal choices to mandate certain behaviors.
As I write this, I realize that this entry shares more personal information than I expected. In that sense, breast-feeding is, like pregnancy, a unique experience for every woman. It is affected by her circumstances and differs in accordance with the needs and temperament of each mother and child. And because of that, we need to provide not only the structural support needed for women to successfully breast-feed, but also our respect to those who, for many reasons, do not.
This happened to me as recently as January of 2005, even though it was already a prohibited practice where I lived. After an emergency c-section the day before and countless fights over outdated hospital protocols, I was awakened at 7 am by a chirpy representative who passed herself off as hospital staff and started asking me questions, including my contact information and income. She left quickly when I told her I was going to report her company, but it was clear she did this daily with every new mother in that hospital. So much for following all the rules.
But now that science supports what breast-feeding advocates have been saying all along, it seems women have been given a new ultimatum: breast-feed or else.
Don’t get me wrong, I fully support breast-feeding, and continue to breast-feed my 17 month old. In that sense, I am part of the success stories. However, I’m also in that group of mothers who has to supplement with formula for a very simple reason: at age 18 I had breast reduction surgery. The fact that I’ve partially breastfed is another success story of a different kind. (For more information on that, see this link.)
I don’t regret my surgery, even if it meant a lot of hard work to establish breast-feeding with my child. I had excellent coaches and a great support team, yet it was still emotionally draining to keep trying without being able to forego supplementation. I was afraid that my son would come to prefer the bottle and wean himself, and frantically tried every available means to increase my supply. At a certain point, this frenzy took its toll on breast-feeding itself, and that’s when I realized that it wasn’t just about milk, but also about our relationship. It wasn’t healthy to feel inadequate every time I fed my child, and I decided to just relax and enjoy it for as long as it lasted, without pressuring either of us. And that’s when our breast-feeding relationship truly developed, and it became about us and not just the milk.
This is important, because the benefits of breast milk are only part of a complex equation that also involves the emotions of both mother and child. If a mother is unhappy with breastfeeding, for whatever reason, she should be able to do otherwise without becoming the target of criticism of either the medical establishment or society. Yet there is another part to the breastfeeding equation that has yet to be adequately addressed, and that is the lack of a social structure to foster and sustain it, both in the workplace and at large.
In fact, we should think about why women become disenchanted with breastfeeding. For example, how do you deal with the still prevalent discomfort of others with nursing in public? (It’s not a coincidence that breast-feeding and pumping are relegated to public bathrooms, since they are deemed unseemly bodily functions. Would it feel nice to eat your lunch in a public bathroom?) How do you educate a public that was brought up on the ‘practicality’ of formula, or that feels free to remark with disapproval that your child is too old to nurse?
More importantly, how do you maintain a breastfeeding relationship when you have to go to work? The article clearly summarizes the difficulties of breastfeeding and work:
“Moreover, urging women to breast-feed exclusively is a tall order in a country where more than 60 percent of mothers of very young children work, federal law requires large companies to provide only 12 weeks' unpaid maternity leave and lactation leave is unheard of. Only a third of large companies provide a private, secure area where women can express breast milk during the workday, and only 7 percent offer on-site or near-site child care, according to a 2005 national study of employers by the nonprofit Families and Work Institute.”
If we really care about promoting breastfeeding, then we need to address the obstacles faced by women in order to successfully do so. It would be infinitely wiser to allocate funds for better maternity leaves on a nationwide scale, access to healthcare and childcare, and flexible work options for women, rather than spend it on campaigns that play to women’s guilt and fear. The use of sensationalist TV ads, portraying heavily pregnant women in a log rolling competition or riding a mechanical bull, trivializes the unique and complex circumstances of each woman and endorses a judgmental public attitude towards non-breastfeeding women. In fact, it’s disturbing that this new government initiative to promote breastfeeding, known as Healthy People 2010 is part of the same initiative that brought about the CDC’s report on preconception health. (See my previous entry on that report.) While I am not against the goals of better health for women or of the promotion of breastfeeding, I balk at the way it is overriding women’s personal choices to mandate certain behaviors.
As I write this, I realize that this entry shares more personal information than I expected. In that sense, breast-feeding is, like pregnancy, a unique experience for every woman. It is affected by her circumstances and differs in accordance with the needs and temperament of each mother and child. And because of that, we need to provide not only the structural support needed for women to successfully breast-feed, but also our respect to those who, for many reasons, do not.
posted by Camille Lizarríbar at 3:13 PM
3 Comments:
While I agree that we need to change the "structural support needed for women to successfully breast-feed", I don't feel that women who simply choose not to breastfeed for non-medical reasons require any special respect. Yup - it's often hard to return to work and breastfeed, but that doesn't make it impossible - my SIL returned to work at 6 weeks PP and exclusively breast-fed and pumped for 8 months. These are the women deserving of respect, along with the women, like yourself, for whom physical and/or medical issues make exclusive BFing (or any BFing) impossible. I have no respect for the women who simply chose to formula feed because they want their bodies back, of they think BFing is gross or whatever lame excuse. Breast milk is best for babies - if you can't put your baby first when it's something so simple and so important, you don't get my respect.
I like reading your maternal digressions. Breastfeeding is such a complicated issue, and as you said, too much guilt is now associated with it. One commenter said she can't respect women who don't breastfeed simply for what she deems selfish reasons. I say it is never that simple--we just can't know all that goes into such decisions and, of course, it is none of our business. Oh, if we could just remember that! Mothers never need someone telling them they have done something wrong, given up too quickly, failed their child. We give ourselves a hard enough time as it is, I think. My 11-month old son has been breastfed exclusively (no signs of stopping yet, either), and I have had so much misery and so much joy because of that. Can I blame someone for choosing another way? I shouldn't, and I believe mothers deserve to be treated with unjudging respect, but I have to admit that I am not perfect at it. Am I the only one who believes in respect for all but who still struggles with unkind thoughts about women who "took the easy way out"? I find I have to work on that constantly. So I will. And I hope, as you say, society can get rid of the guilt trips and instead do obvious things, like putting quiet nursing spots in ob/gyn and pediatrics offices.
I too have to supplement while breastfeeding because of a life-threatning infection I contracted in the hospital while giving birth to my baby. Its a very hard thing, to have seen my baby wonderfully 100% breastfed and then having to take him off to take medicine. Now my supply is so low compared to his 6 oz a feeding desire.
I'm trying to let go of the pain of not being able to fully breastfeed this baby. I'm also trying to relax and enjoy and realize that its not just about the milk. My son loves to nurse to sleep, and for this I am learning to be greatful.
There are still times it all makes me sad, but my baby is beautiful either way!
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