The scarlet M
Last night I started this entry to address, in part, Britney Spear’s public designation as a ‘bad mom’. This morning, my husband opened the front door while holding our son, who suddenly turned and hit his forehead on it. Without missing a beat, my husband announced he was having a “Britney moment”.
Two recent articles bring the issue of public judgment of mothers to the forefront, and not surprisingly their subject is celebrity moms. Granted, the world of celebrities operates under its own set of rules and occupies a particular space in the current cultural landscape. I will not delve into that. But what is interesting about the pieces has little to do with that strange universe.
The May 25th CNN news link reads “Mothers to Media: Lay Off Britney”. From the outset the article reinforces the negative portrayal of Spears by describing her as “America’s most maligned mother” and as having “a way of appearing maternally challenged”. It then narrates a series of incidents that have made Spears the object of much public scrutiny (and incredibly enough, two visits from the local police department). In a disturbing sleight-of-hand, however, the article credits a ‘celebrity mommy patrol’ with passing this judgment on her: “Not good.... We’d never do that.” The ‘we’ turns out not to be the media responsible for the barrage of articles, but other moms. As if that wasn’t enough, the article then feigns shock at the fact that “fellow moms are doing something a bit surprising: defending Britney.”
It is irritating that under the guise of reporting mothers’ support for Spears, the media again pits mothers against mothers. Who, exactly, is surprised that other mothers are defending Spears? In fact, the article goes on to announce:
“None of the mothers interviewed for this piece deny that Spears has shown questionable judgment, at best. But many noted that motherhood has long been subject to changing standards. Was it so long ago, for example, that kids roamed free in the car, unbelted? How long have kiddie bike helmets been around?”
Contrary to the image of a mommy patrol ready to condemn the slightest infraction, it seems most mothers agree that parenting standards are constantly in flux. And yet, the article never addresses the real story –that there was substantial public backlash against the media because of the criticism being foisted on Spears. Instead it’s framed as a conversation between mothers and what it takes to become part of the ‘Mommy Club’.
A second article along the same vein is “Public hooked on celebrity kiddie catastrophes” (Misty Harris, CanWest News Service, May 26, 2006). This one describes the negative attention on Spears’ parenting as bloodsport, and happily goes on to note that:
“The finger-pointing is reaching a fever pitch: pop-culture blog MollyGood has giddily declared that "passing judgment on celebrity parenting is the new passing judgment on celebrity weight loss.''
The underlying assumption is that passing judgment on parenting is not just acceptable behavior, but a delightful pastime. The article gleefully produces a list of the most recent celebrity parent condemnations and, with the exception of Brad Pitt, the charges are lobbied exclusively at mothers. It seems that, even in the unreal universe of celebrities, the harsh rules of judgment and surveillance apply to mothers only.
What should not be news to anyone is that mothers have had enough.
Two recent articles bring the issue of public judgment of mothers to the forefront, and not surprisingly their subject is celebrity moms. Granted, the world of celebrities operates under its own set of rules and occupies a particular space in the current cultural landscape. I will not delve into that. But what is interesting about the pieces has little to do with that strange universe.
The May 25th CNN news link reads “Mothers to Media: Lay Off Britney”. From the outset the article reinforces the negative portrayal of Spears by describing her as “America’s most maligned mother” and as having “a way of appearing maternally challenged”. It then narrates a series of incidents that have made Spears the object of much public scrutiny (and incredibly enough, two visits from the local police department). In a disturbing sleight-of-hand, however, the article credits a ‘celebrity mommy patrol’ with passing this judgment on her: “Not good.... We’d never do that.” The ‘we’ turns out not to be the media responsible for the barrage of articles, but other moms. As if that wasn’t enough, the article then feigns shock at the fact that “fellow moms are doing something a bit surprising: defending Britney.”
It is irritating that under the guise of reporting mothers’ support for Spears, the media again pits mothers against mothers. Who, exactly, is surprised that other mothers are defending Spears? In fact, the article goes on to announce:
“None of the mothers interviewed for this piece deny that Spears has shown questionable judgment, at best. But many noted that motherhood has long been subject to changing standards. Was it so long ago, for example, that kids roamed free in the car, unbelted? How long have kiddie bike helmets been around?”
Contrary to the image of a mommy patrol ready to condemn the slightest infraction, it seems most mothers agree that parenting standards are constantly in flux. And yet, the article never addresses the real story –that there was substantial public backlash against the media because of the criticism being foisted on Spears. Instead it’s framed as a conversation between mothers and what it takes to become part of the ‘Mommy Club’.
A second article along the same vein is “Public hooked on celebrity kiddie catastrophes” (Misty Harris, CanWest News Service, May 26, 2006). This one describes the negative attention on Spears’ parenting as bloodsport, and happily goes on to note that:
“The finger-pointing is reaching a fever pitch: pop-culture blog MollyGood has giddily declared that "passing judgment on celebrity parenting is the new passing judgment on celebrity weight loss.''
The underlying assumption is that passing judgment on parenting is not just acceptable behavior, but a delightful pastime. The article gleefully produces a list of the most recent celebrity parent condemnations and, with the exception of Brad Pitt, the charges are lobbied exclusively at mothers. It seems that, even in the unreal universe of celebrities, the harsh rules of judgment and surveillance apply to mothers only.
What should not be news to anyone is that mothers have had enough.
posted by Camille Lizarríbar at 11:45 PM
1 Comments:
I'm a mom who thinks parents should get the benefit of the doubt in a lot of situations. People get very cultish and militant over things like breast milk vs. formula or cosleeping vs. cribs that, in the long run, really are not a big deal in the scheme of your kid's entire life. We would all be happier if we could give each other a break on the small stuff.
However, I don't buy that Britney is the unfair victim of the mom-hating media. There are issues of style, and there are issues of basic safety. This is safety 101 that she messed up on, and she screwed up multiple times on the *same* issue: After getting in trouble for the baby-on-the-lap-while-driving incident, she still didn't have her son's carseat installed correctly! Given who she is and the resources she has available to her, this is really troubling.
As for your husband's "Britney moment" with bumping your baby's head ... we've all done that. Sometimes your kid might even end up with a nasty bruise. But how often does a baby end up with a skull fracture from a parental whoopsie? Given the serious nature of the injury, it's only right for people's eyebrows to be raised at the news.
For me, three or four such incidents are enough to think that while she might be unlucky, it is more likely that she is just irresponsible. And I don't see anything wrong with judging her on the sum of her actions.
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